Copy/Repost Hike

Captain’s Log: Mt. Mansfield Expedition – Smoke, Scars & Summit Slides
Date: Saturday, August 9th, 2025
Location: Mt. Mansfield, Vermont (Canada’s favorite smoke machine still set to “dramatic”)
Crew: Mike, Jon, Mitch, Frank, Peter

0915 Hours – Ascent Commences

Most of the GO members who signed up were mysteriously absent. Rumors suggest they were abducted by the newly unionized chipmunks or lured away by a superior breakfast offer. (In fairness, the Best Western breakfast Jon & I had would make anyone ditch a hike.)

Undeterred, five brave gay men set off. Spirits? High. Knees? Still attached. Skies? Hazy. Thanks, Canada. But can you blame them with the US tariffs being imposed?

The first two miles offered your standard Long Trail fare: moderate incline, cheerful brooks, and enough rocks to make you question your life choices. Plenty of flat “catch-your-breath-before-you-die” sections along the way.

Trail Incident – Blood for the Mountain

One hiker (identity withheld to protect insurance premiums) engaged in close combat with a granite boulder. The boulder won. A shin and arm were sacrificed; blood was spilled.

The crew considered a dramatic rescue… but instead went with water, ointment, and peer pressure. Our wounded warrior marched on — a gladiator in hiking boots with two wicked trail scars in the making.

1115 Hours – Instagram Filter Activated

We paused at Taft Lodge, admired the rustic interior, then steeled ourselves for the final push. The postcard-worthy views we’d dreamed of.were replaced by the romantic haze of imported wildfire smoke. It gave the whole day a dreamy Instagram filter vibe — without any of the actual health benefits.

I had forgotten just how steep and endless this part was — more challenging than Wildcat A. And I like rock scrambles… usually.

1230 Hours – Summit Secured

At the summit, the crowd greeted us like an overly affectionate golden retriever — warm, friendly, and occasionally brushing up against you. (Sadly, not the hunky hikers we’d hoped for.)

Lunch: sandwiches, trail mix, and a quiet sense of accomplishment. Views: largely hidden behind smoke. Vibe: crystal clear.

1300 Hours – The Slide of Honor

Descending those steep rock slabs required our most advanced maneuver: the Butt-Slide™. Was it graceful? No. Effective? Absolutely. Dignity? Not even in the same zip code. The forest rang with laughter as our glutes doubled as both brake pads and shock absorbers.

1550 Hours – Mission Complete

We emerged victorious — bloodied, bruised, slightly smoked, but triumphant. Van Trapp Brewery served as our victory lap: cold drinks, hearty food, and the smug glow of survival.

Final Notes:
Nature: Gorgeous.
Smoke: Rude.
Shin & Arm: Sliced open, healing well.
Views: Let’s be honest — the men were the real scenery.

Full respect to Mount Mansfield — still the most stunning summit in Vermont.

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