I read an article online recently that inspired me to write something along those lines – I wanted to write about exactly why people should avoid dating a gay man who works and plays outside.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s far too adventurous. You might have a hard time getting him to sit still for any length of time. He is always looking for the next adventure, no matter what the size. It could be an afternoon hiking, or a two week trip abroad. You might have to beg him to settle down and spend a night in on the couch.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s way too easy-going. He can recognize a truly bad situation, so he won’t sweat the small stuff. He won’t let bad weather or broken gear slow him down. He doesn’t spook easily and he understands the human body. He knows how tough the daily grind can be and he is comforted by simply escaping to the outdoors. He’ll probably drag you along.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s up for trying new things. It comes with his adventurous nature. If he is a weekend warrior you will find him at work on a Wednesday dreaming of new gear and rivers to run. He will happily hop in the car and take off to anywhere with you for the weekend – he was probably already booking campsites when you asked.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s tanned in the summer from the sun, not a tanning bed. He’s probably covered in freckles and has dirt under his nails. He likely only bathed in the lake all summer; he didn’t spend enough time inside to even consider a shower. You’ll often find him barefoot, wearing a grin from ear to ear, soaking in every moment of sunlight he can because he knows the tripping months are short.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. His constant focus will be on the joy-factor. He will always be considering the moods of the people around him and how he can help them make the most out of their days. He will turn everything into a game, make light of situations when he can, and can easily entertain a crowd.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s experienced. He’s a leader. He will likely show you up on a portage trail. He has sea kayaked, ran white water, and has spent days hiking and canoeing. He can tie bowlines, make shelters from snow or sticks, wrap ankles, cook on a fire he built himself and make a kick-ass campfire coffee. He can lead the masses and keep them all happy.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s well prepared. He knows exactly what to pack for any outing, and will rarely be found without a lighter. He carries a small pack to make sure he has everything he needs with him. He always has snacks.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s not materialistic. He has spent days without air conditioning, hot showers, ovens and electricity. He has come to appreciate the comforts of everyday life. He will choose experiences over gifts. He’ll be wearing bracelets instead of expensive jewelry and his favorite accessory is likely a bandanna.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s fiercely individual and independent. He knows what he wants and who he wants to be. He’s on a path, but likely doesn’t know where it ends. That’s part of the adventure. He won’t need you. But he will want you. This man will be able to take care of himself; he can cook, portage, pay his own bills, and set his own anchors. But he will love your company.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. He’s extremely supportive. He understands you are two different people, and he has dreams and ambitions just like you. He will push you to take leaps and accept challenges the same way he keeps you motivated on 2 km portages. He just wants you to be as happy as he is. He’s going to give you, like every other commitment in his life, 110%.

Don’t date a gay outdoorzy man. No matter what you do he’ll always be a little wild, and don’t you dare try to tame him.